Kang's Black Belt Academy
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Friday, February 28, 2014 When You Hear A Cry For Help Do You Run? The theme this month is about humility. We may think
of ourselves as humble, but would we become uncomfortable to help another person?
10:41 am est Several months ago, the Philippines were hard hit by a major hurricane. This hurricane, in fact, was at the time the largest and strongest hurricane in recorded history. Thousands of people died and there was massive destruction. Yet, hundreds of people flocked to the islands to do whatever they could to help the survivors and give whatever comfort was needed. These individuals only had the affected communities wellbeing in mind of their own discomfort or safety. When you hear a cry for help, do you run toward the cry or away from it? Of course, it all depends on the person. If you are ALTURISTIC then you run toward the cry. Altruism is action designed to aid others with no obvious benefit to the aide. So, do you feel that you are altruistic, or do you think you know someone who is? There are a few theories to this action. 1. Evolutionary theory suggests, we have an internal instinct to help others in the time of need. 2. Egoistic theory suggests, we help others for an ulterior motive thinking that we will get something in return. 3. Empathy-altruism theory suggests, when we hear of another person’s suffering our empathy kicks in and we are motivated to help. What do you think? What was on “Sully” Sullenberger’s mind, the pilot who landed the US Airways jet in New York’s Hudson River, when he had to crash land in 2009? Was this shear altruism, survival, or empathy thinking of what would happen if all of these people were injured or worse? It’s difficult to know for sure, but regardless he saved the lives of everyone on that plane and is a real hero. In the scheme of things, as a martial artist, you want to remember the roots of the philosophy. Be humble, help people in need and practice these virtues in your craft. Continue to learn, have patience and help those around you be the best that they can be. Keep your child Safe As parents, our number one job is to keep our children
safe. This includes TEACHING about the world they face and how to make good choices. No matter your child’s age, infant
through teenager (and beyond), below are a few topics you should consider when speaking with them:
10:39 am est 1. Car safety: the importance of seat belts and the right time to drive and when to not drive 2. Dangers of Drugs and the power of saying NO 3. Understanding and preventing ONLINE risk 4. How to handle bullying (including cyber-bullying) 5. Resisting peer pressure 6. Stranger Danger awareness 7. Proper behavior in different situations We know, we cannot be with our children 100% of the time; thus the importance of education. Spend quality one-on-one time with your children discussing the above topics. Of course, these topics are just a starting place and you may find other topics which are equally important to your children and family. The significance is to continually speak with our children, keeping them aware but not afraid. The upside is the extra time and fun you’ll have during your one-on-one time with them. Enjoy your talks with your children! Wednesday, February 5, 2014 Recognizing Abusive Behavior in YourselfThis month we are focusing on all kinds of abuse. Sometimes, it is important to look at ourselves and reevaluated our behavior. Admitting that we need help or letting someone else know, may help save someone’s life. Would you report abuse if you saw it? If you need professional help...Do you feel angry and frustrated and don’t know where to turn? In the U.S., Call 1-800-4-A-CHILD to find support and resources in your community that can help you break the cycle of abuse. In other countries, visit Chiworld.org for helplines.Do you feel angry and frustrated and don’t know where to turn? Raising children is one of life’s greatest challenges and can trigger anger and frustration in the most even tempered. If you grew up in a household where screaming and shouting or violence was the norm, you may not know any other way to raise your kids.Recognizing that you have a problem is the biggest step to getting help. If you yourself were raised in an abusive situation, that can be extremely difficult. Children experience their world as normal. It may have been normal in your family to be slapped or pushed for little to no reason. It may have been normal for your parents to call you stupid, clumsy, or worthless. Or it may have been normal to watch your mother get beaten up by your father.The following is a list of warning signs that you maybe crossing the line into abuse:How do you know when you’ve crossedthe line?· You can’t stop the anger. What starts as a swat on the backside may turn into multiple hits getting harder and harder. You may shake your child harder and harder and finally throw him or her down. You find yourself screaming louder and louder and can’t stop yourself.· You feel emotionally disconnected from your child. You may feel so overwhelmed that you don’t want anything to do with your child. Day after day, you just want to be left alone and for your child to be quiet.· Other people have expressed concern. It may be easy to bristle at other people expressing concern. However, consider carefully what they have to say. Are the words coming from someone you normally respect and trust? Denial is not an uncommon reaction.Breaking the cycle of child abuseIf you have a history of child abuse, having your own children can trigger strong memories and feelings that you may have repressed. This may happen when a child is born, or at later ages when you remember specific abuse to you. You may be shocked and overwhelmed by your anger, and feel like you can’t control it. But you can learn new ways to manage your emotions and break your old patterns.Remember, you are the most important person in your child’s world. It’s worth the effort to make a change, and you don’t have to do it alone. Help and support are available.Tips for changing your reactions· Develop new parenting skills. While learning to control your emotions is critical, you also need a game plan of what you are going to do. Start by learning appropriate discipline techniques and how to set clear boundaries for your children. Parenting classes, books, and seminars are a way to get this information. You can also turn to other parents for tips and advice.· Get professional help. Breaking the cycle of abuse can be very difficult if the patterns are strongly entrenched. If you can’t seem to stop yourself no matter how hard you try, it’s time to get help, be it therapy, parenting classes, or other interventions. Your children will thank you for it.· Learn how you can get your emotions under control. The first step to getting your emotions under control is realizing that they are there. If you were abused as a child, you may have an especially difficult time getting in touch with your range of emotions. You may have had to deny or repress them as a child, and now they spill out without your control. |
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